my golden cape protects me

i have not cut my hair in a year, now.
that is astounding.
the ends are frayed
the hair skims the small of my back.
i have almost become attached to it.
i do not want to let it go.
it has been through so much with me this year.
it knows me well.
that sounds so silly.
oh my.
it is my golden cape,
protecting me from fears.

i'd rather observe the trees than this font

i have not blogged for quite sometime
although i had a small part, the play has been keeping me busy.
finals are near.
i'm having a hard time studying.
in my brain,
school does not carry the urgency that it deserves.
i am aware that school determines your future.
especially for the age i am currently at.
but the weight is not there.
the play was fun.
i said my two lines
with as much passion
as i could muster (for only limited hours of sleep)
i had a blast, though.
and loved meeting other people who feel the same way.

life is too short to not forgive quickly.
i wish people would realize this.
i feel like everyone hides behind their problems.
builds their identity out of conflict.

anger ages you.

and an open spirit brings energy.
this is how i feel.

there is a splendid secret carved upon noggin

mmm...

spinning teacups in a dark abyss

i'm spinning in a teacup this week.

only i'm not turning the wheel.

all is blurry

fuzziness

where is the clarity?

everything is puzzling

intricate

what can i be sure of?

who can i allow behind

the doors

of my abode?

he is knocking

dare i answer?

right and wrong are so hazy.

are there such things as this?

do i dare enter any deeper into this abyss?

they are warning me not to.

they say they dont want me to get

swallowed up by the blackness

i feel like i already did

a long time ago.

did anyone notice?

i love human connection

especially the kind without words.

a mood or a look or a sound is all it takes.

this clarity is proving itself tonight especially.

and also i like knowing people.

and friends are good.

and jessicas pretty.

that is all.

when i was a little girl, i wanted to create a fossil.

i gathered a smooth stone,

carefully picked a green leaf off of the aspen tree

in our front yard,

and placed it atop the stone.

i kept it in a shoe box in my closet.

i checked on it every day to see if it was a fossil yet.

i asked my teacher when it would becme one.

and after that my hopes of creating this

were non-exhistant.

as strange as this sounds,

this was more of a shock to me than santa not being real.

Don't you know that art resides in all seasons?

This is my dear friend shelly.

She has beautiful big blue eyes, and ginger hair.

She is making a silly face here...hehe

Art is everywhere.

You just have to see it.

Downtown Grand Rapids.

There is "ArtPrize"

Art everywhere.

My fantasy.

I need to raise money for london...

I am going to start painting a bunch of furniture.

And selling it.

My feet miss being bare.

As much as I love my old combat boots, they are restraining.

As are my pants.

I miss my shorts and flowy skirts.

Free

I wish to be.

The flowers are dying.

Soon there will be none to put in my hair.

This saddens me.

But the leaves are changing.

The vibrant hues blossoming.

This does excite me.

Mhm. Yes it does.