read and absorb

my mother is
one of my favorite people on this earth.
she is steady, wise, and chill.
she knows me better than anyone.
these are her words.
they came to her immediately after waking up
this morning
easter morning.
these are my mother's words:
"Much has been written about Jesus’ experience of the crucifixion as a man, fully human. His physical suffering, his final hours. The body’s response to such a slow, tortured death.
But what about his experience of resurrection? He still had a physical body. When did his awareness of life begin as he came back from death? Was it like slowly awakening from the veil of sleep, walking in from the corners of dreams until he was in the moment of the big day? Or was there a sharp intake of breath, lungs suddenly filled with air, burning, gasping.
Could he feel the bands of cloth around his feet, his arms, his face? Was there a clawing feeling of desperation to be released, free from the restriction of movement, wanting up off this hard stone?
Could he smell the burial herbs and spices, strong and pungent in their mixture, to both honor and cover death? The cave, mildew and stale, his nose searching for release to openness.
And what did he hear? His own breath whooshing, in and out, his heart beating in his ears, and then nothing – the quiet of the tomb. Maybe the distant conversation of men standing guard.
His mouth must have been full of the sticking, staleness of long sleep, dry and tight, reluctant movement. Did he have morning breath? Bitter taste of burial herbs seeping through tight, closed lips.
How did he first sit up, stand up? Who folded the cloths? Where did his clothes come from? And did he stand patiently silently as he waited for the stone to move? Did he help, pushing weakly, hands pressed to cold, damp granite? When did the light of sun hit his eyes? Squinting in to the day after long, long night. The fresh, cool air of morning, hazy with fog. Colors opaque with dew and smoky, heavy air.
Did he stand still for a moment enjoying the newness and familiarity of what had been lost to him? As he looked down at himself, did he recognize this new body, familiar parts but new appearance?

When did the man step in?"
.
.
.
she really needs to get a blog.

they keep fluttering

in there
with my lunch.
i'm not completely sure why.
but they keep colliding with the walls
of my stomach.
their wings flapping
to stay airborne.
nevertheless, today has been calm and lovely.

Things that made today a lovely day:

-overalls

-sewing buttons

-new yellow coat

-breeze from the fan

-no blinds

-rain (sound, smell, sight)

-time with mom

-pasting many things into my journal

-KBCO cd

-packing for London

.

.

.

“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming.” -Pablo Neruda

my dear friend holly
and i
had a photoshoot
in my basement.
i do love her.
.
.
.
"Not even the rain has such small hands."
-E.E. Cummings

a much needed spilled glass

knees.

this is twister.

brit came home from college.

a lovely weekend.

a good tuesday.

a long walk.

a good talk.

a best friend.

.

am eating a pb&j with milk

my favorite.

texting a very nice boy.

.

yesterday i found myself with excessive

pent up

emotion.

and passion.

it came so suddenly, i was at a loss for what to do with it all.

i ran around in my favorite field,

with one arm waving free above my head.

and i gave a long, giant yell.

.

.

.

i love to hug the grass.

i really do.

remains of someones life

Theresa Boneta Dodge


and i went to an abandoned burnt house on friday

it was odd, and slightly depressing to think about people living and breathing and laughing and eating in this house at some time.

we found old shoes. and i decided to adopt them as my own.

here they are before.

do not have the finished clean products just yet.

washed them at Theresa's.

i can't wait to have adventures in them.

my week full of wonder

looking for unconventional beauty.

imperfections abound

and bliss overflowing.

.

roll down the car window

stick your head out like a dog

adjust your lungs to the excessive air

let it carry you.

.

lay in tall grass

focus on being still

forget what your name is

.

walk out the front door

and let your legs take you

wander aimlessly

get yourself lost

and find a place you never knew was there.

the alphabet and me, under a tree.

Wishing my love wasn't quite so big.

But oh well...

It's not like I can adjust these things.

My grade in chemistry is struggling.

I need to run around.

And also I need

Junior mints and popcorn

With Kelly.

I desire to wear a hat.

That hides me.

Today I made a list of things I want.

Clarity, dancing like birds, and Blind faith

were included.