a plastic face was biting me in my dream

kendal is a rare gem.

.

things have been kind of grim and purple lately.

there is no cause.

all i want to do is

dive into one of the giant snow drifts outside

and fall asleep until

it melts

that sounds quite emo

.

.

.

i have decided

that art can break my heart

in a way that no boy ever could.

my sandwich making skills are improving

i do love holly and bekah

so apparently some have said
that my noggin is not screwed on correctly.
i might have to agree with them
.
i wouldn't have it any other way
.
.
.
today i recieved a miniscule sailboat from a dear friend.
half an inch in width
on it were the words
"s.s. mecie"
i imagined myself to be teeny and
away,
sailing to a mysterious faraway beach.

my boots are still wet from last night's escapade

good and fun distracting night

rode on a magic carpet

to israel

last night with evan

i keep myself busy

today

there is a pile of sticks

outside my window

.

.

.

avoiding the encounter

with feelings

that whisper

.

i keep looking at the pile of sticks

I'm Back

havn't blogged in long time

no one will read this anymore so whatever

apple juice is liquid comfort

the covers are steel skin protection

i cannot believe i did what i did

sometimes it feels right and

sometimes i am weeping because

i miss him.

what's done is done though.

sincerity spewing from the windows

my dear friend, Katrina

and i waded in a sunflower field hip-high.

she has a beautiful brain and a musical laugh.

.

here i sit.

in a rolling chair that spins like the earth

watching my fingers dance across the keys.

a garden gnome is drawn on my left hand.

.

come, enter into the universe that resides inside my head.

let's be wonderfully vulnerable.

.

this morning i lay in my sheets sketching the view outside my window.

i decided to sketch the view from all the windows in the house.

sometimes i pretend like my bed is my spaceship

at night i am restless.

been having difficulties sleeping.

i lay there kindly asking my mind to slow down.

until i abandon the attempt and begin to paint.

.

my bedroom is a different planet.

more and more each day

as i paint peculiar ideas largely on my walls.

.

sometimes i find myself with strength

that i know does not belong to me

He provides.

perfectly mysterious.

trouble and relief.

^these were taken last summer, found.
i am home bound for a week.

foolish decisions.

i am relieved.

free

from telling lies.

this week i am going to attempt to become organized.

thankyou God, for adderall. . .